Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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