My nipple is on Facebook.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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