I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I licked your asshole in confidence.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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