yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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