guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize