plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
