I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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