So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
