I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
