remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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