I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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