The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Apparently you make a good broom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
