Sry I called you an 8
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I would ride that face into the sunset
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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