what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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