How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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