I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
