dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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