she smelled like a LAN party
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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