so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
