What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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