Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
