The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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