Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
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Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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