Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
