I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
