i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
