PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
