I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
