I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
