we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
