I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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