It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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