I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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