Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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