I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
