Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize