It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
