he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize