Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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