we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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