Don't you send me to vm
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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