My nipple is on Facebook.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
