White coat. Heels.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
