Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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