Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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