who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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