Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
