i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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