thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
