You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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