with your own penis?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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