and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize