and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
