I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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