im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he was CRYING into my vagina
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
