brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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