im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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