she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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