i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
