Your face is a jimmy john
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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