So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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