He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
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We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
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You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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