thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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