Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
