Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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