i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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