i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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