That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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